VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
