so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
