im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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