weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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