im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
And then he peed in my hair
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