Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
