Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
worst night to have a conscience
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
