the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
