other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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