420 ftw
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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