cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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