Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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