We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You made out with two different species that night
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
dude. I can hear the air.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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