Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize