Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
