It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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