Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
