I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
