I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He better not be in your backpack
My breasts were aching with rage.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize