i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
