is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize