don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You have to summon your inner elephant
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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