I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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