So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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