The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You were trust falling into bushes
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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