I think I am morally bankrupt
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
