You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
What did we do last night that was yellow?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
