Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Randomize