i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
