yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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