I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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