So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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