If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
