you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
