Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
How naked do you want me to be?
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