There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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