My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
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