grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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