guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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