I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
