Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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