oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
