My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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