Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
