got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
