Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
