so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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