he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
