I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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