My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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