are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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