we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize