Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
