I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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