No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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