Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
