I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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