i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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