I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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