Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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