the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Someone came in the potted fern
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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