so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
