Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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