I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
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