And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
