so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
