i permit you to call me
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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