Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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