Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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