I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
