I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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